I've drawn so many lines, my life is a road of stripes

no more mistakes,
because in your eyes, I'd like to stay.

Well since I've blogged last,
josh has broken his promises as usual,
and I've been let down...
as usual.

I seriously almost broke up with him.
I even considered myself single for like twenty minutes.

I'm so fed up.
but if I am,
then why do I give him so many chances?

Beats the dog shit out of me.

He doesn't realize how close he is to having me walk out the door,
and never come back.

But even if I did leave,
I would still cry about him. Only because I miss him so much. I would
still want to talk to him and know that hes there for me.

You see,
I can't get rid of him.
it would be like selling my heart.
hes my everything.

Which is why I'm so torn.

Maybe there actually is a bit of faith that he might change his ways
for the better.
and maybe thats what keeps me with him

But I don't feel that.
I feel like I'm stuck with no hope of my boyfriend ever even wanting
to live up to my expectations

But I live him so much.

I have no idea what is going to happen.
but i am aware that its probably going to get worse,
and there are going to be plenty of more times where i just want to
throw in the towel/

But hopefully I'll stay
and hopefully behind all of these clouds I'll see my sunshine again.

Now the lessons learned,
I touched and I was burned.